Grieving
by Anim3Fan4Ever
Summary: Oliver has yet to grieve. When he finally does. Roy is there to help him. After watching the episode, I hurt all over. This is what I came up with. S03E02. Spoilers. Roy might be a bit OOC.


Oliver sat down there, in Verdant's basement, his secret hideout, for god knows how long. He stared into the darkness. Only a faint glow from the emergency lights filled the room. He was basically shrouded in the darkness. Free to let the silent tears fall. Free to do as he pleased. He was alone, no one could see him. Yet he still fought the stinging in his eyes, still tried to rapidly blink the wetness in them away.

_I will not grieve._

I can't grieve.

_I need to be strong._

_For the others._

_I'm the leader. They need me._

_I can't give in._

_I can't..._

Oliver let out a harsh sigh, and got up. Taking a shaky breath, he stepped towards the open space in lab. He grabbed the metal pipe and jumps up to the bar-holds, lodging the pipe midair into one of the handles and clung on. He lifted himself up and started doing pull-ups. Setting the bar higher after 10 pulls each time until he was on nearly the highest point. He let out a lout grunt as the stinging in his eyes was as present as ever.

He descended with the pipe until he was low enough to drop to the floor. He let out a yell of frustration as he started punching the training dummy. After a particularly hard hit, the wooden stand snapped in two and the dummy flew a few feet across the floor.

"Guess we'll need a new one again, huh?" a tired and hoarse voice said.

Oliver looked up and saw Roy standing a few feet away, leaning against the table with Felicity's computers on it. The boy pushed off and took a few steps towards Oliver. The tired man held up a hand.

"Don't." he ordered. Roy held his hands up in surrender and stayed where he stood. "What are you doing here, Roy?" Oliver questioned, trying to keep his voice from breaking, glad for the lack of light in the room at the moment. Hoping the darkness would cover any weakness showing on his face right now.

"To know how you're holding up." the boy in question shrugged.

"In the middle of the night?" Oliver questioned.

Roy looked a bit sheepish, "I... also couldn't sleep...It's... I've..."

"It's been a very long day." Oliver simply states, knowing how the younger man was feeling.

Roy gave a long sigh as he nodded, "Yeah." his shoulders slumping.

"How are _you_ doing?" Oliver asked.

"M'fine. It's you I'm worried about." Roy muttered.

"Why?" Oliver asked him, confused.

"Cuz..." he shrugged. He felt Oliver's eyes bore into him. Could feel him giving that stare of his that always ends up making him talk. He took a deep breath, "You're not mad at me?" he asked.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Now Oliver was really confused.

"Cause it's my fault... don't you see that?" Roy exclaimed desperately. He didn't understand, why didn't Oliver punch him in the jaw? Why didn't he get an arrow lodged somewhere in his body?

"What are you...?" Oliver asked confused. "This about Thea? And the note? Why is that any of your fault?"

"Because, I couldn't stop her, because... and then... I didn't tell you about the note and-"

"Roy, stop. Breathe." he told the younger one. Panic was written all over his face. "I'm not mad, because you're not to blame."

"But the note-"

"I understand why you didn't tell me." Oliver assured him. "There was a lot going on, and a lot to deal with... Still is."

Roy nodded, "I... Yeah... y-you're right... I'm being stupid." he shook his head vigorously, trying to get rid of the tears that build up. He still looked tense to Oliver. But he figured he'd done what he could, and the rest was for Roy himself to deal with.

"Go try and get some sleep now." Oliver commanded.

"What about you?" Roy asked.

"What about me?"

"You need rest too." Roy stated. "You're not invincible, you know. You can't endlessly go on."

Oliver opened his mouth to argue. But no sound came out, like he was stumped. Roy was right. Any arguing would lead to him contradicting his own advice towards the boy. That, and he was tired, exhausted. He took a deep breath, slowly exhaling as he ran a hand over his face, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"I just..." He cursed himself when his voice broke.

_Damn it Oliver!_

He yelled at himself in his head.

"It's okay, man." Roy said softly. "You're not some coldblooded asshole. You have feelings too. None of us would fault you for that."

"It's not that..." Oliver muttered. "I... I don't think I could pick myself up anymore if I do..." he whispered.

"That's what we're for. Me, Diggle and Felicity." Roy simply states, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "That's what you and Thea taught me. That no matter how hard life gets, how painful... Your friends will be there for you to help you through it."

"Me? Thea, I get, but me?" Oliver questioned.

Roy simply shrugged, "I didn't realize until much later, but, yeah, you. In your own way. I realized after Thea ranted about you being emotionally constipated at times." he explained, "After, I started to notice what she meant. At first I thought you were a giant asshole. But... she helped me see the smaller details to your personality. As tough and ruthless as you try to come across, you're still a softy inside." when Oliver gave him a strange look he added, "Her words, not mine."

Oliver gave a small smile at that, shaking his head a little, the stinging in his eyes returning tenfold, "Not just hers." He whispered painfully, biting his lip afterward.

_Keep it together damnit!_

"S-sorry." Roy stuttered. He was trying to lighten the mood, yet he ended up making it worse. He stepped towards Oliver again, unsure what to do.

"Don't apologize." Oliver sighed tiredly. Trying to take deep and steady breaths.

Roy hesitantly put a hand on the older man's shoulder, not knowing what else to do. He wanted to express to him that he was there for him. But he didn't know how to. He doesn't really have to though, because Oliver stepped forward, closing the distance and pulled Roy close. Laying his head on the brunet's shoulder.

The gesture startled Roy. He stood there, frozen, for a few seconds before the older's shaking shoulders jarred him into wrapping his arms around Oliver. He swallowed thickly, his own tears resurfacing. He didn't fight them, and silently let them go as he rubbed Oliver's back.

Comforting is still a strange concept to Roy, but he wanted to get better at it. He wanted to be there for Oliver, and to continue so in the future. He wants to help Oliver any way he can. No matter what.

They stood there in each others arms for hours. Oliver finally letting his grief and sorrow over losing Sara out. Perhaps even all of the pain from the losses before Sara. They held each other tight, as they shed their tears.

Come morning, they would probably never speak of it again. But for now. They, mostly Oliver though, let out their pain and tears. And maybe, in the future, they would help each other again. They would let the other cry on their shoulder, or whatever else they would need help with. They both promised to themselves that from now on, they would let the other know they aren't alone. That they have each other.

_**The End**_


End file.
